As I reconnect with my platform at large, I am reminded that I wrote the memoir Biography of a Friendship as a promise to my dying friend. I wanted to give her a future she’d never know, show that there was more to her life than her illness. Most of all, I wanted to help two friends like us.
When two female friends go through the journey of pancreatic cancer after one is diagnosed at a terminal stage, everything changes. It’s like being on a road never travelled. But even without a map, and except for cases of long remission, that road leads to loss and grief.
I was reminded of this on May 12th, 2026, as the speaker at a Vancouver Terminal City Club (TCC) salon. The subject was how to write about a friendship facing an incurable illness. Soon, the talk naturally veered to the importance of friendship, experiences of loss, and questions about how to accompany a loved one whose life is ending. It led to moments that could be neither rehearsed nor made over.
When I looked for a book to help me help my dying friend, the authors were either pancreatic cancer patients sharing their remission at that time or medical professionals. A memoir about two female friends still had to be written.
As I reflect on that evening at TTC, I realize that even if we want to talk about illness, loss, and grief, there is often no outlet to share these emotions openly. Our culture tends to run away from it.
Memoir writing is indeed more than a genre. It’s more than writing a personal story, finding its meaning, and sharing the lesson. For this reason, Biography of a Friendship is more than a memoir about friendship. It is meant to inspire and guide family and friends on how to meet the emotional needs of a loved one with terminal pancreatic cancer. Honesty is the only true support.
In that sense, I feel gratified that Biography of a Friendship led to heartfelt conversations. I am also grateful to TCC for that much-needed outlet.
Note: According to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (PanCAN), 0.019% of the US population (0.017% of Canada’s) is expected to be diagnosed in 2026. This means 67,530 pancreatic cancer diagnoses (in the US) or 185 new patients every day. It’s not the most common cancer, but it’s the deadliest. Don’t ignore any symptoms: Pancreatic Cancer Awareness is a cause close to my heart.
Life happened since my last post: illness… loss… illness… recovery… I now approach the New Year soulful, grateful, and hopeful. Since my previous blog, I have gained a new perspective on my book, Biography of a Friendship.
Nearly twenty years after a shore excursion to Berlin with the Regent Seven Seas cruise of the Baltic Sea, our high-spirited guide’s comments resonate again, as if the past is repeating itself only as a different story.
Memories as Facts
The agricultural land along the 180 kilometers (112 miles) from the German port town of Warnemünde to Berlin unfolded monotonously until we met Burkhardt. Our guide had immediately set the tone on the drive along Unter den Linden—Berlin’s historic grand boulevard.
“There was nothing democratic about the ill-fated German Democratic Republic,” he said, meaning East Germany. Many years ago, I had heard this from students in the Federal Republic of Germany, also known as West Germany.
“The Jewish Memorial stands almost above Hitler’s former bunker.” Burkhardt’s karmic insinuation wasn’t missed as we passed by the Holocaust Memorial, a field of 2711 concrete blocks, among which visitors meander and reflect. “Jewish people represented only 0.77% of the German population, but millions were killed in Poland.” We all seemed to carry the unwarranted guilt of this genocidal fact as we got off our charter bus.
Our tour continued with a boat ride on the Spree River, and so did Burkhardt’s thought-provoking comments, as if he had made it his life mission to remind everyone of what happened. “Marshall Brücke was letting boats through during the war, but had fences below the water.” Burkhardt could only veer from that cryptic statement with sarcasm: “Berlin has more bridges than Venice, but the ugliest bridge in Venice is nicer than the nicest bridge in Berlin.” His humor briefly lightened the mood until he pointed to signs along the canal, warning of the danger of mines and forbidding the throwing of anchors. Even Angela Merkel had to evacuate her apartment; construction work still uncovers bombs today.
Burkhardt then became more personal. As a young boy, he visited the Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church, nicknamed ‘the church with 15 bathtubs.’After Berlin’s oldest church was heavily damaged, it collected rainwater from its roof, while also serving as a multi-faith sanctuary for protesters. Nearby, the Palace of Tears Museum is a reminder that for the then-separated families like Burkhardt’s, the single-day visa to visit loved ones in East Berlin could only end with tearful goodbyes.
The Berlin Wallin Brief
Our guide then moves on with a to-the-point factual history lesson. After WWII, Germany was split into four zones: American, British, French, and Soviet. Then Berlin was again split in two, the Soviets controlling East Berlin and the Allies controlling West Berlin. When East Germans began to flee to the West, the Soviet East German government sealed the border overnight in 1961, first with a barbed wire fence, then with a fortified concrete wall, electrified fences, and guard towers.
Burkardt became animated again with the tug of war that ensued, Russian Premier Nikita Khrushchev closing off Berlin with 11 checkpoints and President Kennedy ordering tanks to Checkpoint Charlie. The Russian conceded after a 14-day standoff, and Checkpoint Charlie allowed free passage from East to West to foreigners. Germans who attempted to cross over were killed; he would later point to the white crosses in the city, serving as their memorials. In 1989, protesters breached the wall, and its demolition was completed in 1994.
We kept pace with Burkhardt until he pointed to plaques on the street, marking the length of the defunct wall, which led us to the East Side Gallery, the 1.3-kilometer (0,8 mi.) remaining section of the wall, where artists had freely expressed themselves. Our walk ended at the Brandenburg Gate, a part of the Wall until new buildings were constructed after reunification.
Berlin’s Past and Present
At the time of our tour, in 2010, Berlin was in a baffling economic situation. According to Burkhardt, millions of square feet of office space stood empty, and so did the 21 five-star hotels—more than in Paris or New York. The end of the Cold War had sparked an über enthusiasm for development that even freedom couldn’t buy.
Our spirited guide then left us with an anecdote. For a time after the reunification, Eastern Germans so resented any reminder of the Führer that the term Stadtführer (city guide) was changed to Stadtbild Erklärer (city map explainer). Since then, semantics has returned to its original purpose.
As for the remnant of the Berlin Wall, it struggles to remain the symbol of nations being better off as allies than adversaries.
Note: In 2025, Berlin visitors occupied approximately 66 percent of hotel capacity, thanks to its cost-effective policy that attracts fairs and conventions, and a thriving music, film, fashion, and design industry.
Street markers of the Berlin Wall (MCArnott)
Berlin bomb warning sign on the Spree River (MCArnott)
Berlin Holocaust Memorial (MCArnott)
Berlin historic boulevard Unten den Linden – under the linden trees (MCArnott)
Fresh from the Vancouver International Publishing Conference on June 8, 2025, I am happy to share my insights after attending sessions with panelists from Doubleday Canada, Penguin Random House, Douglas & McIntire, Scribd, and other experts in the field.
Publishing generates a $30 billion annual revenue for the American market. According to Publishers Weekly, sales rose by 7.3 %. In Canada, publishers project an annual growth rate of 2.98 % starting in 2025. Good news: people read more!
About Trends and Themes
An overarching theme might be in the past, although self-help and health books dominate the market. Narrative nonfiction (memoir) remains difficult to get traditionally published and to reach an audience. Trends come and go and return as new ‘trends.’ Memoirs became more marketable as ‘books of essays‘ until they lost appeal and reverted to ‘memoirs.’ Vampire and horror stories were a big trend until they had to reinvent themselves. Romance is a growing segment both for traditional and self-publishing. Mystery is still going strong. Canadian stories sell well abroad, and graphic books are a trend for foreign rights. Trends will die! With nearly 11,000 books published in the U.S. daily (traditionally and self-), there are too many ‘trends!’
About Platforms
Ah… the bane of unknown authors! Celebrities and public figures have a platform as big as their fan base. In other words, unknown authors rely on who they know, and personalities rely on who know them. Platform is a problem for memoir: you must sell yourself to sell the book. In fiction, you must sell the story.
About Pitching Agents or Publishers
Some of the big traditional publishers are now accepting un-agented submissions. The key is to find a unique angle for your story and prove you are the person to write it. Warning: Don’t pitch your ego, pitch how you felt about writing it, why you felt compelled, and what it means. Let your introduction hang so that agents and publishers beg (!) for more. Know who your target audience is and pitch to the right place. Celebrate your first rejection because you are now ‘a rejected author.’
About Writing About Trauma
The creativity process is always uncomfortable because everyone is afraid of making mistakes. Take the leap and write until you feel something; what does it mean? Be willing to learn something new about yourself. Let the passion (even the burden) sit you down and create the first draft. Value your first draft because it’s the matter from which you will rewrite and revise umpteen times until your final copy. We are all a story; write yours to contribute to the larger story, the collective remembering.
About Journalism and Narrative
Journalism is about an event’s facts, and narration is about how it affected you. Be authentic to connect with the reader. Will your story have resonance? If it helps even one person, you’ve met your goal. A reading should be about the essence of the story; it should have meaning.
About Marketing and Copyrights
A book should reflect you as your brand. Who are you? Everyone is terrified to reveal it. Regarding social media, engaging with a few is better than not connecting with 100K followers. Pushing social media with pushy posts (!) feels calculated. Any number helps, even one reader at a time, which is the norm for most authors. The key is an enticing hook paired with a good comparative title. Substack is popular right now. Pinterest is coming back because it’s visual.
About Self-Publishing
More writers turn to self-publishing to bypass the lengthy process of finding an agent who must then find a publisher, which could take years. A self-publishing agency like TSPA in Vancouver, the conference’s sponsor, works with professionals who team up to get a book to market in less than a year.
About AI
AI is ineffective at conveying themes such as spiritual development or the dismantling of various beliefs (religious, social, family), etc. An AI-created pitch shows its weakness: it’s not heartfelt on both ends (from the writer and by the reader). It’s a matter of honesty; an author will always be morally confronted with an AI-created book, now out in the world. However, AI works well for books about ‘How to…”
This is a book like no other, despite the sad and all-too-common subject of mental illness and drug overdose. Only a memoir could extract such soul-searching and gut-felt emotions. Yet Holden after and before by Tara McGuire includes fantasy, investigation, meditation, and more, illustrating the struggle of the author who tries to imagine what was going on in Holden’s mind, her 21-year-old son, who died despite his fight to escape the grip of addiction.
As a writer, I enjoyed McGuire’s writing style and the book’s creative structure. As a reader, the story then took meon the same convoluted journey as the author’s search for understanding. As a mother, I felt her understandable need for atonement.
I didn’t expect a new understanding of graffiti: McGuire shows that graffiti was Holden’s way of exteriorizing his incomprehensible pain. Although tagging looks messy to the uninitiated and is a criminal act, it’s an outlet for lost souls who become gifted yet marginal artists. Yes, graffiti is more than defacement, besides humanizing seedy or otherwise deserted places. The author describes the parking lot in East Vancouver, where the Holden Courage [Holden’s last name] Graffiti Jam covers a 20-metre concrete wall. Holden’s closest friends created a background with reproductions of all Holden’s graffiti. This memorial won’t be there forever, but meanwhile, it is a reminder that mental distress needs, if not our tolerance, at least our understanding.
It always pains me to see young, homeless drug-addicts, but there is some selfish comfort in knowing that even the most willing mothers can’t always reach their children’s darkness. Holdenknew his mother’s love, yet the pain wouldn’t let itself be soothed. Page 167 resonated with me. McGuire’s journey leads her to accept the concept of reincarnation as a means for education. Having recently lost a son (to cancer), and although McGuire’s journey is different from mine, I found validation: we are ‘here’ to keep learning through life’s experiences until our souls will, in some other dimension, be whole, at last.
This book is more than a mother’s ‘extra-ordinary’ memoir; it enriches the collective testimonials about mental illness.
The Coral Sea was gloomy gray under a typical March weather, not a sign of smooth sailing. Lightly equipped, we reluctantly left the Shangri-La Hotel in Cairns, walked to the nearby marina, and boarded a high-speed catamaran in rain and hair-frizzing humidity. Like other determined tourists that year, we were on our way to the Norman Reef, on the Outer Reef.
As If You Were There
“Don’t think about it!” my husband said. I still frowned at the rocking motion, even from our more stable seat on the stern. Good sea legs aren’t in my sailing arsenal, but I managed the 95-minute sailing with the ‘wave riding’ and the ‘horizon viewing’ tricks against seasickness.
I distracted myself by watching the seabirds that mistook our vessel for a fishing boat, even though no fish bits were thrown overboard. More entertaining was the cabin door suddenly flying open onto a group of seasick girls, who collapsed onto the unoccupied seats exposed to the pelting rain. They couldn’t care less about our destination: the world’s largest living structure and one of its seven natural wonders. When it was my turn to succumb to the sudden and unmistakable jolt in my stomach, I was lucky to pluck a seasickness bag from a crew passing by.
This was no 18th-century sailing with months of onboard living. Not only were we not exploring uncharted territories, but we would soon set foot on a floating ‘terra firma.’
Pontoon in sight!
Cold and hungry, I watched our boat dock at a covered floating platform with four levels, and bought a peony-pink fleece jacket from the onboard concession. Besides keeping me warm, the logo Great Barrier Reef, Cairns, Australia would prove that I ‘came, saw, and conquered.’ I avoided the appealing buffet, hoping snorkeling would settle the conflict in my inner ear—where the human balance mechanism operates.
While the crew outfitted snorkelers and scuba divers with wetsuits and other appropriate gear, non-swimmers boarded semi-submersibles or scuba scooters. Meanwhile, visitors with mobility issues stayed dry in the underwater observatory, while a few passengers tried to regain control of their queasy selves.
All discomfort disappeared as I floated atop that natural aquarium, fish with bright and colorful patterns gliding below me in a flowing choreography. Some dared to size me up after I slithered into the water. I recognized the shimmering parrotfish; this prolific pooper/sand producer’s way of life is to nible on the abundant coral. But something was missing from the image I had in mind.
Spongy-looking coral (the hard coral) only added a creamy brown to the bland seascape palette. Sea-fan-shaped feathery coral (the soft coral) undulated in pale muted hues. Instead of the flamboyant reef seen in photographs, the ocean floor seemed to have turned off its lights.
Time went by fast. Two hours later, after satisfying my newly-found hunger, it was time to return to Cairns. A helicopter clattering above us made me wish we had booked a sail-over/fly-back tour. Never mind, all was smooth on the way back to the Southwestern front. Even on that dimmed day in March, the experience was worth it.
When to Go
At the time, I learned—from Russell Hore, Reef Biosearch Manager at Quicksilver Connections—that rain doesn’t affect visibility, but a sunless day dims the colors. On any given day, sediment suspension, tide, and algal bloom can affect the color spectrum. Besides, up to 70-80 percent of coral is of a brown/yellow color—from the nutritional zooxanthellae that live in their tissues.
The best time to see a glorious reef is in winter/spring (when there is less plankton, nevertheless responsible for the bright colors), plus a medium tidal change, about 15K SE wind conditions, and… bright sunny weather.
About Then and Now
In 1770, British explorer Captain James Cook searched for a passage when his ship struck the coral in a maze of, unbeknownst to him, 2900 reefs and 900 islands. Cannons and some ballast went overboard to keep the damaged boat afloat. Eventually, the Endeavour reached a sheltered area—known as Cooktown today—for repair. Cook stumbled upon what is known today as the world’s biggest aquatic park. One that began some 18 million years ago, as new reefs developed on top of old ones.
Today, human actions endanger the 1250-mile-wide reef. It had survived Ice Ages and low seawater levels. But then, overfishing, land clearing, coal mining, urban development, and marine debris have destroyed the old reefs, and global warming and ocean acidification are affecting the new ones.
According to the National Park Australia Council, only 36 percent of Australian marine waters are protected. What’s more, protection fails to accomplish conservation. According to The Reef and Restoration and Adaptation Program (RRAP), preventing coral bleaching will be an ongoing fight and plight. For this reason, the Coast of Cairns is being reseeded with millions of coral spawn harvested from the most thermally resilient ones.
Setting out larval pool floats off the coast of Cairns, Queensland (Photo: RRAP)Cairns Marina (MCArnott)Great Barrier Reef pontoon at the Norman (Outer) Reef (MCArnott)Cairns, Great Barrier Reef, March weather (Photo: Arnott)
I haven’t posted an update for some time due to a devastating family loss. I am now ready to continue sharing my journey as an author.
First, thank you, readers. I appreciate your support and your messages about Biography of a Friendship. As an unknown author, getting visibility is difficult and takes time. I filed my first tax return and didn’t owe any taxes! However, my goal was always to keep a promise, help raise awareness about pancreatic cancer, and share a story that can inspire other women.
Then, since I am promoting my book again, I am also launching a call for reviews. I gratefully owe this to my publisher. Most readers don’t realize the importance of reviews. Without reviews trickling in, a book loses visibility at Amazon, the number one bookseller. It’s a bit of a hurdle since you need to have an Amazon account. Goodreads is another site to post, and you also need an account. The same review can be posted on both sites.
But I get it: you might say you are a reader, not a writer. So, what’s a review? It would be what you’d tell a friend about Biography of a Friendship. Be honest: I won’t hold your opinion against you! Below is a guide list; a review with two or three points is acceptable; always include the title and author’s name:
Begin by sharing your overall feeling about the story.
Briefly, what is the story about?
Did the book keep you interested throughout? Why?
Do you have a favorite chapter?
What is your takeaway message?
Did the author accomplish her purpose?
What type of readers would enjoy it (age, gender, anyone)
Does it remind you of another book (memoir or novel)?
Were the dialogues helpful?
Writing about an illness is difficult; how did the author manage it?
Did the medical information burden your reading or interest you?
Do you think there should be more books about women’s friendship?
Would you recommend the book?
If you didn’t like the book, explain why.
To post a review if you read the book, or to get the book, visit Amazon.com.
Publishing a book is much different than writing–it is said that writing is an art and publishing is a business. And then, juggling the promotion of Biography of a Friendship with a family priority was awkward, yet it had to be done. Still, promotion is the bane of a writer…
Before the release date, I sent 152 personalized emails to family, friends, and acquaintances. I am grateful for the 75 percent supportive feedback.
I worked on social media: my Facebook Profile, and The Writings Keys. On LinkedIn, my son surprised me with a much-appreciated shout-out. After release, I took care of my Amazon Central Author’s Page.
I took a listing for my book at the online bookstores of the Federation of BC Writers and the International Women’s Writing Guild. I also contacted independent bookstores, but in Canada, it’s easier to get my book at a large independent bookstore (Indigo).
I also participated in various events:
February 27, 2024 (Pre-release) – The Federation of British Columbia Writers / Regional Authors Spotlight on Zoom with three fellow authors. I gave a reading and an answer to a major question: Why did I write a memoir instead of a novel? Good question! A shout-out appeared in the summer edition of their magazine WordWorks.
March 14, 2024 – Launch day for Biography of a Friendship. Tule Publishing had a live event on Facebook.
April 12, 2024 – North Shore Writers’ Association Festival.
April 27, 20 – PurpleStride Walk annual fundraiser for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (PanCAN), in San Jose, California. Books were gifted to qualifying donors.
June 2024 – My write-up was published in the Blackhawk Living magazine in Danville (Cal.) since my story is connected to this location. Thank you, Rakestraw Bookstore, for listing Biography of a Friendship.
July 22, 2025 – Interview by Rishab Perati for the website Living with Cancer.
July 23, 2024 – Writers’ Showcase at the Vancouver Public Library. Introduction for Biography of a Friendship.
August 6, 2024 – The Harmony Arts Festival in West Vancouver with the North Shore Writers’ Association.
September 2024 – Biography of a Friendship was selected for the North Shore Author’s Collection and is on display for one year at the three local libraries.
As I set up to reach a larger audience, I hope to get more reviews. Before becoming an author, I never thought of leaving reviews (on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Goodreads), yet just three short sentences will help potential readers, and give credibility to an author. Yes, I could ‘buy’ reviews… really? I am not interested.
This is it… My first book, Biography of a Friendship, is about to take flight after safely landing at Tule’s nonfiction imprint, and next to its amazingly imaginative fiction authors. It took ten years to complete, including much time spent in the doldrums for me, and in a drawer for my manuscript.
When I promised to my dying friend that I’d write a book about all of this, I meant us; as decades-long friends shattered by her stage IV pancreatic cancer diagnosis. I also meant her; as my ever-matter-of-fact friend with a colorful life. It would be a biographical novel.
But, emotionally paralyzed by my loss, I couldn’t bring myself to start writing until I stumbled upon NaNoWriMo, and I dived in. Without an outline, my first draft was very disjointed, and it left me cold. But thanks to happenstance, I met a memoirist. She said I wouldn’t find my voice unless I spoke for myself. I had to rewrite this novel as a memoir. And so, MC became I.
I wrote Biography of a Friendship to help other women, two friends like us, perhaps. Two friends contemplating their new life because one is dying. Although Juliette asked me to accompany her to the end of her final journey, it wasn’t the story I wanted to write. There was much more to my friend’s life and our friendship than her illness. There would also be much more to the story than I could have imagined.
There was no balking when a thought emerged from my unconscious mind. This part of my creative nonfiction journey wouldn’t leave me alone until perspective completed its arc. Until all was clear. Only introspection would give me that perspective. It was difficult and time-consuming.
In this story of a friendship, my friend’s illness became the vehicle that took me back to my memories of us and made me ponder our then-present and its unknown. When it stopped, my journey continued. Until it unexpectedly led me to flick the light on the shadows of my life.
In the end, that journey became more of a crusade, but it brought me peace. I hope it will help other women find theirs.
I wasn’t sure I was ready for a book about the ‘Big One’ — you know, the long-feared earthquake said to be looming along the West Coast, but Peck had a way of getting me to turn the pages. Intrigued by the characters, I almost couldn’t wait for the Vancouver ground I live on to shake, only in a fictionalized story. Frances Peck’s plot magnifies broken relationships in a now-broken city and complex characters in a now-convoluted situation.
Sometimes it takes a physical or emotional shake to help us reconsider the lack of balance in our lives. Still, by the end of the book, I was relieved to stand on unbroken ground.
