As I reconnect with my platform at large, I am reminded that I wrote the memoir Biography of a Friendship to give my friend a sense of a future she’d never know, show that there was more to her life than her illness; most of all, I wanted to help two friends like us, or guide the family of a pancreatic cancer-stricken loved one.
When two female friends go through the journey of pancreatic cancer after one is diagnosed at a terminal stage, everything changes. It’s like being on a road never travelled. But even without a map, and except for cases of a long remission, that road will lead to loss and grief.
I was reminded of this on May 12th, 2026, as the speaker at a Vancouver Terminal City Club (TCC) salon. The subject was how to write about a friendship facing an incurable illness. Soon, the talk naturally veered to the importance of friendship, experiences of loss, and questions about how to accompany a loved one whose life is ending; to moments that could be neither rehearsed nor made over.
When I looked for a book to help me help my dying friend, the authors were either pancreatic cancer patients sharing their remission at that time or medical professionals. A memoir about two female friends still had to be written.
As I reflect on that evening at TTC, I realize that even if we want to talk about illness, loss, and grief, there is often no outlet to share these emotions openly. Our culture tends to run away from it.
Memoir writing is indeed more than a genre. It’s more than writing a personal story, finding its meaning, and sharing the lesson. For this reason, Biography of a Friendship is more than a memoir about friendship. It is meant to inspire and guide family and friends on how to meet the emotional needs of their pancreatic cancer-stricken loved one. Because it’s the only true support.
In that sense, I feel gratified that Biography of a Friendship led to heartfelt conversations. I am also grateful to TCC for that much-needed outlet.
Note: According to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (PanCAN), 0.019% of the US population (0.017% of Canada’s) is expected to be diagnosed in 2026. This means 67,530 pancreatic cancer diagnoses (in the US) or 185 new patients every day. It’s not the most common cancer, but it’s the deadliest. Don’t ignore any symptoms: Pancreatic Cancer Awareness is a cause close to my heart.